Realistic Renovations: Stitch Witch and Staple Guns

Every TV designer has a Seamster. Seamstress? Seams.....person?

Whatever you call them, they are a person with a PhD in pinch pleats who sits at the sewing machine ready to hem, stitch, pinch, or punch out whatever window solution the designer has come up with. These designer window treatments, by the time they are done, look amazing-and I have to believe they don’t come cheap.

noun

a person whose occupation is sewing; tailor.

Not only do you pay for the pinching and pleating, you also pay for the beautiful material, often from some posh downtown fabric store in the big city. Even at the local Jo Ann Fabrics in the burbs, the fabric labeled “Home Décor” runs about 30 bucks a yard. (The three foot one). Your average curtain panel is 54 inches wide and 84 inches long. You need at least two for a normal window and you need about 4 for all the really long windows I have. That’s enough math for me to know it’s not worth it to make your own- at least in the traditional-buy-fabric-and-make curtain-panels-from-scratch-with-a-sewing-machine way.

Not to mention, you have to know how to sew.

Now, sewing machines are for people with lots of patience and self-motivation. For the rest of us instant gratification junkies, we need some better options than temporary shades or icky metal blinds. (Were metal blinds a product of the 80's?)

After checking out every store trying to find affordable valances for my kitchen that didn’t have chickens or coffee cups on them, I realized that I was not going to find anything that would work for my dignity or my budget. So I came up with a solution that cost me less than 20 dollars for two windows in my kitchen-sans chickens.

roosters...chickens....roosters, oh my!

My secret to custom windows? Use a table runner. One table runner is way longer than a valance so unless you have a super long window you only need one per window. The edges are already finished, so no sewing. They are narrower also so they don’t block any of your light when you hang them, most are 12 inches across. There are a lot of options out there with great colors and patterns online and at most home stores. Just check the measurements as they can be different lengths depending on where you get them.

I found these particular runners online at tableclothsfactory.com. I love the damask pattern. It provides some much needed interest on a wall of all white cabinets. The two table runners were about 14 dollars total with shipping. Try finding one panel for that let alone two.

Once I had the table runners, I bought 1x2s from Home Depot and some L brackets.

I used stitch witch from the craft store to neaten up the edges I had to cut to get it to size. I stapled the fabric to the wood with my handy staple gun, and voila! You mount the L brackets on the wall where you normally would place a curtain rod bracket, and you attach the wood to the bracket. If you are lazy you can just rest the wood on top and not even attach it with screws.