I recently subscribed to a fairly well known design blog. The thing is, now that I have been getting it every day I am finding it... well, sort of annoying. This couple is like, so what are you doing this weekend? We are so excited to spend the entire weekend renovating our dining room, after we hit up a few flea markets looking for vintage chairs to reupholster and if we're lucky we'll start building our new deck from scratch. We love home renovation it's so fun!! We do everything creative together!!
Now if you are one of those women who is married to a creative artist type and you enjoy hitting up flea markets and antique stores together, that is really great. But understand, you are probably the exception. On Sundays during football season, what are the commercials for? Cars, fast food, TV shows, and beer. My husband gets a big kick out of this Billy Currington song, and freely admits that this is a pretty good description of him at times:
Now, before you think I am some miserable wife with an oaf husband, I will assure you that my husband is brilliant, hardworking, loves reading, music, cooking, traveling, and is very creative in many ways.
But he is no "weekend warrior".
Now, that doesn't mean he never helps around the house, but the reality of my life and probably many of yours is way different then some of these couples who enjoy hitting up the antique fair or the local Home Show.
Now, I think this has several advantages. I make most of the decor decisions and as long as things are functional and don't break the bank, he is usually fine with it. He really doesn't care what color scheme I go with, as long as it's not pink or purple. Or crazy weird.
Today, when I was struggling to stay motivated finishing a project, he suggested we go fishing. It was the perfect break I needed, and we had a lot of fun.
For those of you ladies who insist on dragging your husband around against his will while you look at teacups and vintage linens, give the man a break. He isn't going to change and you can't force him to enjoy spending 2 hours in the home furnishings store. It doesn't mean he shouldn't appreciate what you do or show interest in what you are interested in, it just means you have to be realistic and recognize that he probably doesn't even know the color of your dishtowels. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or appreciate your creative side.
Here are some tips if you have a spouse who doesn't share your love of Design:
1) Leave him home with the kids while you hit up the local Home Goods. Get a coffee and really enjoy yourself! Don't drag him around a store he hates and then wonder why he is so miserable.
2) Instead of telling him every decorating project you plan to do in the next month, focus on one at a time. Don't overwhelm him with everything you want to do all at once, and then get upset because he can't keep up.
3) Don't assume that because he isn't into design in general that he doesn't have an opinion. He may not be too particular, but he definitely can still have an opinion. You might be surprised.
4) When he does get a hankering to do something like take up the kitchen floor, go with it. Do whatever it takes to encourage it and help it happen. For me it meant not having a floor for almost a month, but you know what? He got it done eventually.
5) Learn to compromise. For example, I sit in the living room and read design books and blog while he watches college football and Ultimate Fighter.
6) My personal favorite, if you need to go to IKEA, bribe him with Mexican Food or whatever delicious eatery is nearby.
In our marriage, being different is what makes it so fun. So don't despair, just be realistic about the person you are married to and realize that it's ok to not have everything in common.
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